Secondhand smoke does not lead to secondhand coolness

I do not smoke. Never have. Don't ever want to. Why? Because I like not having heart disease, lung cancer, obesity, green skin, raspy voice, high blood pressure, etc, etc, etc.

That being said, I feel like my health has gone down considerably after three years of working at the Tard Center. Everyday I am forced to walk into the building past numerous (probably at least half of the people that actually work in the entire office building) people who are smoking on the sidewalk instead of over in the enclosed smoking shack. Now I have to admit that I sympathize somewhat with their not wanting to smoke in the shack seeing as how there is a giant enclose nuclear generator something-or-other literally inches away from the smoking shack, which has multiple signs and warning labels on it stating "Extremely Flammable!" That aside , I can't count the number of times I've wanted to pull the signs that read "No Smoking on the Sidewalk" out of the ground and use it to decapitate every moron on that sidewalk blowing smoke into my face as I try to hold my breath the entire way to the front door.

I really don't have anything against people who want to smoke. But really the fact that it has been clinically proven that second-hand smoke leads to just as much illness as first hand smoke does is not really good news to me and I prefer that if you do choose to smoke you at least have the decency not to kill everyone else around you. And seeing as how the fat security wenches just sit inside at their useless desk flirting with their useless white trash boyfriends all day aren't going to ever do anything about it the only alternative is either spree killing or gas mask. Unfortunately I don't have the balls for a spree killing nor the resources for the gas mask so I am pretty much screwed. Damn you inconsiderate smokers! Damn you all to hellfire!