Darwin who?

Humanity evolves, continually, whether it is part of the natural selection process, by some quirk of genetic mutation or even as the result of technological advancement we are different from the generation which preceded us.

Different isn’t always better.

Humanity prides its self for being the sole self invited occupant of the highest echelon of intelligence on this planet. We consider ourselves wise, with a greater awareness of the universe and smarter because unlike some of the creatures we consider lower then ourselves we don’t lick our privates in public… well most of us don’t at any rate. It is because of our self proclaimed status as “Smartest Thing Ever” and the fact that as I write this there is a man in a trench coat loitering outside this building’s main entrance chasing people about with a gate made haphazard by the wild hip gyrations he performs in the pursuit of his pray; I believe our species is becoming divergent.

Our species is splitting into two sub-species; who we shall name, for complete lack of wit on my part, Homo Tardiculus and Homo Smartypantzii. As Tardiculus devolves and Smartypantzii diverge we will begin to exhibit drastically different behavior patters. Where Smartypantzii continues to develop increasingly complex and meaningful linguistic capabilities, Tardiculus will gradually lose the ability to form coherent sentences, instead opting for simpler forms of auditory communication consisting of several partially inflected grunts and moans coupled with various hip thrusts and rude gestures.

Nowhere is this more apparent then my office. When the sweltering heat generated by the poorly maintained air conditioning system, which is routinely managed by a ragingly incompetent maintenance staff, is coupled with the various whistles, toots, grunts, moans and other sounds I am unable to describe with the English language the only missing element is overgrown foliage.

Some Monday mornings when I make the arduous journey from the elevator to my desk I must bring with me my trusty hunting spear for fear of being ravaged by the lightning quick Horn-tooting Bearnky (Ursus Tootleufigii) and his mate the dreaded Bitching Elephenoose (Loxodonta Loudmouthicus). These are not the only misshapen gentetic throw-backs that reside in my office, they are however the loudest. They are rivaled by Roadkill’s wheezing toots and Lurp Tard's manic heavy breathing. It seems that they all vie for the title of "King of the Wild" as when one starts with the jungle fever grunt-phony they all join in, growing louder and louder until all shreds of sanity are sapped from the floor.

The evolutionists believe in survival of the fittest, only if by "fit" you mean so annoying you cause all competitors to commit violent suicide thereby ensuring you're the sole surviving heir to the Earth, then yes, there are many incredibly "fit" people where I work.