Darwin who?

Humanity evolves, continually, whether it is part of the natural selection process, by some quirk of genetic mutation or even as the result of technological advancement we are different from the generation which preceded us.

Different isn’t always better.

Humanity prides its self for being the sole self invited occupant of the highest echelon of intelligence on this planet. We consider ourselves wise, with a greater awareness of the universe and smarter because unlike some of the creatures we consider lower then ourselves we don’t lick our privates in public… well most of us don’t at any rate. It is because of our self proclaimed status as “Smartest Thing Ever” and the fact that as I write this there is a man in a trench coat loitering outside this building’s main entrance chasing people about with a gate made haphazard by the wild hip gyrations he performs in the pursuit of his pray; I believe our species is becoming divergent.

Our species is splitting into two sub-species; who we shall name, for complete lack of wit on my part, Homo Tardiculus and Homo Smartypantzii. As Tardiculus devolves and Smartypantzii diverge we will begin to exhibit drastically different behavior patters. Where Smartypantzii continues to develop increasingly complex and meaningful linguistic capabilities, Tardiculus will gradually lose the ability to form coherent sentences, instead opting for simpler forms of auditory communication consisting of several partially inflected grunts and moans coupled with various hip thrusts and rude gestures.

Nowhere is this more apparent then my office. When the sweltering heat generated by the poorly maintained air conditioning system, which is routinely managed by a ragingly incompetent maintenance staff, is coupled with the various whistles, toots, grunts, moans and other sounds I am unable to describe with the English language the only missing element is overgrown foliage.

Some Monday mornings when I make the arduous journey from the elevator to my desk I must bring with me my trusty hunting spear for fear of being ravaged by the lightning quick Horn-tooting Bearnky (Ursus Tootleufigii) and his mate the dreaded Bitching Elephenoose (Loxodonta Loudmouthicus). These are not the only misshapen gentetic throw-backs that reside in my office, they are however the loudest. They are rivaled by Roadkill’s wheezing toots and Lurp Tard's manic heavy breathing. It seems that they all vie for the title of "King of the Wild" as when one starts with the jungle fever grunt-phony they all join in, growing louder and louder until all shreds of sanity are sapped from the floor.

The evolutionists believe in survival of the fittest, only if by "fit" you mean so annoying you cause all competitors to commit violent suicide thereby ensuring you're the sole surviving heir to the Earth, then yes, there are many incredibly "fit" people where I work.

More Money = More Better Good?

I was contacted this afternoon by a customer with a simple question, "What's the difference between your Enterprise class router and the Enterprise class router with Call Control?"

Simple enough. Maybe I wouldn't have called to confirm that the call control bundle has, well, CALL CONTROL while the regular does not... But ok, I'll bite.

"Well sir, the Enterprise Class router with Call Control features the ability to do Call Control. The regular bundle does not."

"So the Call control bundle has more features?"

"Well, yes. It has Call Control. Other than that it's the same."

"So it's better? More useful?"

"If you require Call Control, then yes, it's VERY useful. Do you require Call Control?"

"No, not at all."

"Then the Call Control bundle would just be a waste of money. You would be spending more to get a spare module that you wouldn't use at all. In the end it's useless hardware for you."

"But it has more features, right?"

"..........Yes, yes it does."

And people wonder why I drink in the morning...

Worst Case Scenario

Many people have plans for a worst case scenario. I for example have a 12 week program designed specifically to survive a zombie on slot.
Some people save money just in case there job goes under. Some stock pile food against Armageddon. Others keep a few extra pills from there prescription so that if everything goes south, they can just go south with it.
I do know one person though, who doesn't have a plan in case of a worst case scenario. His plan is to be the worst case scenario.
Not long ago, a discussion was had near me. And since it was in my general vicinity, the Noid was involved. He was asking if he could just leave early whenever he felt like it and our manager had told him no because that would constitute job abandonment since he would be leaving before his work was done. Noid wasn't content with this so he explained that he didn't need to be here the last 15 minutes since it was set aside as a clean up time and he had nothing to clean up. His manager then explained that he could just take away our clean up time since it seamed we didn't need it. This was a bit upsetting for most of the people in ear shot as we actually need this time to ensure that we don't get stuck at work by a last minute call. There was some complaints to the affect of smacking the Noid if he cost us our last 15 minutes of safety.
As anyone who has met the Noid knows, confrontation is not the easiest thing for him to handle. In an interesting moment of in site, he blurted out "Well, worst case scenario, I come in and shoot all of you." I then turned around and asked why the hell he would be shooting me. He answered that it was a general threat and that he would be selective of who he shot.
I could go on and on describing the following 15 minutes of how this conversation went and how management handled this. but I prefer to just end with this statement. It is common knowledge around work that Noid packs heat at all times. If I see him at work, I will start going home sick any time he gets upset.